Two Magic Words To Eliminate Anxiety and Panic
Post written by Dayne. Follow him on Twitter.
36 Happy Comments
Kaazam! Anxiety and worry be gone.
Anxiety and panic usually befriend us at some point in our lives. What an ugly friend they can become.
Work stress, life stress, and the stress we bring onto ourselves from our own thinking can “butter” us up for anxiety and panic. It is inevitable that it will strike us at some point. There are some of us who have a greater buffer towards anxiety and panic compared to others.
People who suffer from anxiety and panic seek out counseling, read the latest best-selling book on the subject, or simply learn to live with it and let it ruin there life. How sad.
If one looks close at anxiety and panic, you will find that it is a signal of something wrong. This is the same type of message that pain can give us. In many cases, the anxiety and panic could be stemming from a past abuse, past trauma, or more. Once this is resolved or dealt with (i.e. feeling and experiencing the emotions) freedom can then usually surface gradually. This all makes logical sense and usually works charmingly.
But what about those of us with chronic anxiety, worry, and panic WITHOUT a past abuse, past trauma, etc. that could have sparked it?
This is where many of us get stuck.
Here is the solution…
Look at your ego.
Your ego alone is at the root of your anxiety, panic and worry. Let me explain this briefly. When anxiety and worry plague us inside, look at what is going on in our minds. There are a number of things we could be thinking.
Here are a few possiblities…
- “What if I get sick and everyone sees it?”
- “What if I get up to give that speech, and I freeze!”
- “What if I go to the party and people stare at me, and think I’m weird?”
- “What if I end up old and alone?”
- “What if I lose my job, my wife, or all my income?”
- “What if I say what I feel and everyone laughs at me?”
- “What if I pass out while driving, or grocery shopping?”
- “What if I get so nervous, people see me sweating?”
Of course, there are a million “What If” scenarios one could name when it comes to worry, anxiety and panic. What stresses or worries one, will most likely not worry or stress another. Everyone has there own unique stressors.
But if you take a close look at the examples above, at the VERY CORE of the worry or “What If” thinking, there is one thing…damage to your EGO.
The main thing that is going on is that you are worrying about what OTHER people may think of you…nothing more. This is ego at it’s very finest.
The way to get over this anxiety, panic or worry is to learn to get over your ego first. Once you do this, you will not really care what others think. Is this easy? No. It can be very challenging, but worth the effort.
There are two magical words that can transform your anxiety, worry and fear when it comes to your life. It really is that simple. Instead of thinking during times of stress the typical and self-trained thought pattern of “What If”, make a shift and alter this phrase to the new magical phrase…
The two magical words that can transform your anxiety, panic and worry is…“So What”.
SO WHAT!…if someone see’s you get sick, pass out, fail that speech, sweat, think you are weird, etc.
SO WHAT!…if you fail at something and people see it, or if you lose your job (there will be others).
Only YOU are the one that really cares. You are just trying to protect your ego. Doing so causes a lot of inner turmoil. Let it go.
Here is how to eliminate your worry, anxiety and panic in 3 steps…
1. Take a look at your ego, and move beyond it (this has to do a lot with self esteem).
2. Turn your “What If” thinking into “So What” thinking.
3. Take the worse case scenario and look at what is the WORST thing that can happen. All ego aside, is it really that bad? Is it even that likely to happen? Probably not.
Learn to be present.
Learn to drop your ego.
Learn to not get caught in the story of the future in your mind. Learn to say “So What” instead of “What If”…and watch your life transform.
“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” James Thurber
***********************
Do you suffer with anxiety and/or panic? What works best for you?
***********************
Did you enjoy this post?
If you enjoyed this post, I would really appreciate it if you post it on Twitter or on StumbleUpon.
Thank you so much! 
Posted on September 25, 2009
The best part about looking at the worse case scenario is it really puts things in perspective. Another senator said something offensive? At least it didn’t start a war. The economy sucks? the dollar has not yet collapsed, we have disintegrated into a total despotism. Zombie infestation? now you have something to take your stress out on. There is always a positive side, and it is extremely rare that you will ever face an absolute worse case scenario.
Justin- AlittleBetter.net´s last blog ..What Is A Better Life Anyways?
Hey Justin, thank you for commenting. I agree with you, the worst case scenario does put things in perspective. There is indeed always a positive side if we truly look deeply at it…and most of all, the worst usually does not happen. But IF it does, things usually end up ok in the end. That is all that matters.
Cheers,
Dayne
Absolutely fantastic post, Dayne. “So what” are definitely the magic words and I could use the more often in my life. I’m one of those anxious types and I think saying these words when I’m feeling stressed will REALLY help me. Thanks, Dayne!!
Positively Present´s last blog ..14 reasons to fall in love with fall
Hi Dani, I appreciate you commenting here as always. I think once you make that shift to “So What” thinking, you will see a reduction in your anxiety. I know it has worked well for me over the years.
Have a good one!
Dayne
I love it! I try to explain this to people all the time, and you’ve hit the nail on the head.
Going through life with this ‘So what’ attitude doesn’t mean you don’t care about the world or other people or anything like that, it simply means that you don’t sit and worry over damage to your ego, which, as you said, is the root of so many people’s troubles.
I’ve been living my life like this for a couple of years now, and the sheer contrast in how happy I am now (more or less constantly) and how happy I was before is startling.
Great stuff. Keep it up!
Colin Wright´s last blog ..Sentimentality is the Enemy of Evolution
Colin, you are right, it is NOT that we don’t care about the world or other people when we live with the “So What” attitude. It is more that it is a “So What” to our ego.
I’m glad to see that you actually have already implemented this trick and that it has paid dividends for you.
Thank you for commenting!
Dayne
Oh man, those “what ifs” sound familiar. I used to be plagued with teaching anxiety to the point where I couldn’t sleep at night. The biggest problem was that the answer to the “so what” was often quite serious. I didn’t want to fail as a teacher because if I did, I would fail my students. Instead I realized that not every day is going to be perfect. If I simply enjoyed talking with and learning with my students (instead of seeing myself as the carrier of all knowledge), I would be both a better and a happier teacher.
Thanks for the post!
Coach J´s last blog ..I Have Worms
Hey Coach J, thank you for visiting and commenting here! I can imagine that stress of being a teacher and not wanting to fail your students. But I’m glad you figured out that not everyday is perfect, and you aren’t either. Working with your students is perfect (instead of being the carrier like you said).
Glad you enjoyed the post. Come back soon!
Cheers,
Dayne
Hi Dayne,
Great post. The “So what” feeling comes about naturally, as imperturbability, or as the Sedona Method calls it, “hootlessness” when we are able to let go.
Thanks for the insight!
Kaushik´s last blog ..Finding Passsion and Purpose: The Tipping point in the fulcrum of change
“Hootlessness”…now that is a great word and a great way to look at it.
Thank you for sharing that Kaushik!
Cheers,
Dayne
Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..Two Magic Words To Eliminate Anxiety and Panic
Excellent post. Most of the dark thoughts that fuel worry and anxiety never eventuate anyway. I like the way that you talk about re training the mind. Our mind can be a rampaging monster out of control and by putting it under notice that we are keeping an eye on it, we can slowly learn to re train or re program our habitual responses. Lets face it, negative thought patterns are trained habits. Your post hits the core of spiritual practice….observation.
Andy
Andy´s last blog ..How to reprimand, get what you want & everyone feels good..
Hey there Andy, I agree with you. One can re-work the mind and observe the patterns of the thoughts that provoke anxiety and panic within us. When we face them, see that they are just that,thoughts, we can challenge them (So What thinking) and move past them.
Thanks for commenting!
Dayne
Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..Two Magic Words To Eliminate Anxiety and Panic
Dayne,
Once we can master and engage these two words “So what,” life brightens substantially.
One of the benefits of growing older, if we evolve along the way, is to recognize that what others think is their business. When I do respond to another person who decides to let you know what they think is “Your opinion has been duly noted.” But I don’t feel obligated to take it into account in my decision.
Thank you for sharing this very important strategy for dealing with the ego to diminish stress and worry.
Flora Morris Brown, Ph.D.´s last blog ..Comic Books are Not Child’s Play
Hey Flora, welcome and thank you for commenting! You are so right about how when we grow in age, the more we realize what others think is their business. Thank you for pointing that out.
Thanks again for stopping by…
Dayne
I just noticed in those “What if …” statements they all contained “I and/or “me”. That shows how much ego can be central to fear and anxiety.
Good post by the way.
Gordie Rogers´s last blog ..Birthday Reflection For The Past Year.
Welcome Gordie! You are right, those “What If” statements have the foundation of ego based on “I and/or me”. When we let that go (ego), an ease of anxiety and fear can occur.
Thanks again for commenting. Feel free to stop by again!
Cheers,
Dayne
Hi Dayne, great post on how to get rid of anxiety. When we start to put ourselves in a “so what” attitude, rather than a “what if” attitude, we start to not care so much about the outcome of the actions we are doing and how it affects other people. This will get rid of that endless chatter going in our minds.
Hey Tristan, welcome here and thank you for commenting.
Stopping that “endless chatter” within is very essential and I think when we don’t care so much about what others really thing, this can be slowed down a bit. It is not that we don’t care about other people, we just don’t get so self absorbed in what they think to rule our lives.
Thank you for commenting again!
Dayne
Another great post Dayne
What If’s are all in the future, they are not real, they do not exist.
One of my favourite stories to bring myself back to reality is this one:
“A Samurai warrior was captured and imprisoned by his enemy. In his cell, he was unable to fall asleep because he kept worrying what will happen the next day, if he will get tortured or killed. Then he remembered the words from his Zen Master, “Tomorrow is not real, it is only and illusion”, and he found peace and slept like a baby.”
The only time is now, and what if’s are a waste of emotional energy if repeated the whole time.
CHeers!
Have a great weekend!
Diggy – Upgradereality.com´s last blog ..Travel,Adventure,Lifestyle Design,Self Improvement and Passion
Hey there Diggy! Ahh…I LOVE that story. I’m so glad you posted that here for others to read because it makes a GREAT point! Awesome!
As simple as it is…NOW is it.
NOW = No Other Worries
Cheers,
Dayne
I love this post and it really hits home for me. I confess two things, first that I dwell too much on what other people think of me and it’s holding me back! Second confession is I’ve told almost no one in my friend or work circle about my blogs, and I should. I should be proud and not care what people think.
Welcome OPTED Magazine, thank you so much for visiting here and commenting! I agree with you, be proud of what you do, when you do…others will follow and support you. If they don’t, most likely THEIR ego is getting in the way of themselves.
Keep on moving forward and creating!
Cheers to you,
Dayne
Hey Dayne, this post is excellent in its simplicity of message and seriously sound advice. I know I have a big ego, always fearing that others will look down at me and laugh…or even worse…not even notice me. But this is all in my head and as you pointed out, I’m the only one who really even cares.
Thanks for sharing this with us. Now I’m off to Twitter to let others know about this post.
Eric
Eric Hamm´s last blog ..The Essential Motivation Handbook Has A New Website
Hey Eric, thank you so much for stopping by my blog and commenting (nice Wordpress them eh?).
I think if you recognize that your ego get’s in the way of yourself and you worry about what others really think…it is the first step to moving past it. When we can admit that (like you have), that is coming from a state of non-ego within.
Thanks again for stopping by, I’ve always admired your blog and of course, the great work you do on your Wordpress Frugal Theme! I appreciate the Twitter love as well!
Cheers,
Dayne
Cue that P!nk song! Great post.
Danny Lamas´s last blog ..Taylor Swift, Kanye West, and Ego-Check
Ha, very true Danny! I guess that song would fit with this post now, wouldn’t it! Thank you for commenting and stopping by here!
Thanks again,
Dayne
Very will written post to help us understand the ego and how it works. No doubt the the excessive concern with other people’s opinion is a function of the ego. Maslow even says in the hierarchy of needs that self actualized people are independent of the good opinion of other people. This is an idea I think really is key. I like how you’ve isolated it to two simple words.
Hi Srinivas, thanks for commenting here! I appreciate you pointing out the info regarding Maslow and the Hierarchy of Needs (very good point!). That makes a lot of sense and ties in to the blog post perfectly!
Thank you for sharing!
Cheers,
Dayne
A friend of mine says what helps her, and I’ve found it helpful as well, is just taking a moment to center yourself when your brain is going every which way. A breath in while saying “just” and a breath out while saying “this”.
Just this.
Makes me feel better every time, and calms the “monkey brain”. : )
Hey there Brianna! Oh, I LOVE your saying. It is simple, and direct, and I can easily see how it could have a very calming affect on the “monkey mind” like you say. I really appreciate you sharing that!
Cheers,
Dayne
I just wanted to add my thoughts too. The ego is definitely a problem, but you can turn it around too, “Why is something so little going to stop me? I can work around this, what’s the worst that can happen?” Also feeling you on planning out the worst case scenario option. But it’s still very difficult sometimes…your feelings shove aside your logic and continue parading.
Whenever I feel stressed/anxious/panicy, I say “Just. Be. It’s all that you can do.”
If we’re talking audio accompaniment I highly recommend DJ Tiesto’s “Just be” and Audioslave’s “Be Yourself”.
Great blog!
With a grateful bow to Dale Carnegie (who may sound like a way too dated source of wisdom), may I share his brilliant advice on the subject. Carnegie offers this profound FINAL step to the process of moving through the “So Whats”.
Take a realistic look at the WORST that could happen. Then, plan specifically for how to manage yourself through that. For me, this last step has been the linchpin to finding peace at the center of deep worry.
Here’s how I rescued myself from huge stress and saved a wilderness trip that it might have ruined: On night 1 of a 7 day Sierra Club trip into bear country, I discovered that my much-needed eyeglasses had been left at home. Being a hopelessly near-sighted contact lens wearer, thoughts of what would happen if there was an emergency at night (when my contact lenses would be out) started to flare up.
Suddenly, I remembered Carnegie’s advice while contemplating the potential horrors (bears, fire…) OK, I was perhaps hyperventilating just a bit
Solution? Ask a neighboring camper if she would be willing to let me camp next to her nightly — AND –lead me away by the hand if we suddenly had to move in the dark.
Of course, she agreed. Worries ended….
Sequoia
hey Dayne!! thanks for such a great post….i’m having a job interview tomorrow and i was feeling kinda nervous but after reading this post i m sure that i will do well tomorrow and even if i won’t make it so what?!! …so wish me luck and thanks again….xoxo Sana
Great article Dayne! I may have perfected the “what if” thinking lol. I had to share this story with you. It’s 2005 and I am miserable…hated my job, my life, and where I lived. I wanted to live in Arizona and the planets aligned for me. I buddy called from Phoenix to say his roommate moved out and was wondering if I wanted to be his roommate (he knew of my desire to live in AZ). I took a few days to decide (just for my own peace of mind) and decided to make the move. I notified work (I was temping at the time and they were furious. Really? I was just a temp lol). I got a lot of “Oh good luck out there” and “you’ll hate it out there” comments, but I pressed forward. I have to admit, I let some of the comments make me start to second-guess myself to the point where I started thinking “what if”. Basically, I snapped myself out of it and said, “wait….so what if you’re giving up everything in Florida? You’re starting over and are happy about it-that’s all that matters!”
Well, 4 years later, I have a career, became a freelance writer, and bought my first house. NONE of this would have happened if I had let the anxiety get to me in 2005.
Hope this story helps!
Excellent. Easy and simple and 100% on target. I wish someone would have sent this to me 50 years ago.
Perfect.
Thanks!!