The Secret To Achieving Your Goals

When we set goals for ourselves, it gives life meaning and direction.  Identifying a goal represents a commitment to action.  There are few feelings more satisfying than setting a goal and working to achieve it.  Overcoming obstacles and staying motivated are all part of the challenge of the goal.

Some goals are more attainable than others.  Defining a goal which relies for the most part on factors which are beyond your control can lead to frustration and a feeling of failure.  One of the most important qualities of a worthwhile goal is that it involves controllable factors.  Deciding that you will win a lottery, for example, is not a worthwhile goal.  No matter how many tickets you buy, you have no control over the outcome of the lottery drawing.

This is not to say that a goal must be entirely under your control.  There are goals which may involve the contribution of other people.  In these cases, your goal can center on doing your best to influence others to help realize your goals.

Focusing on people and situations you can’t control fosters a feeling of powerlessness.  If you let things you can’t control affect you deeply, you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed.  Focusing on goals which are under your control will bestow a feeling of empowerment and usefulness.

Which types of goals are controllable?

Here are some ideas to think about…

•    Your Personal Finances.  If you have a steady income, then you have some control over how you spend it.  If this area of your life is currently not completely in control, try tracking where you spend your money for a month and then create a budget to control spending, pay off debt and save some money.  Continue to track spending each month and try to stick to your budget.

•    Your Diet and Weight.  You are the person who controls what you eat, how much and when.  If you’re overweight, only you can do something about it.  Many people feel this is beyond their control, but goals can be reached in this area with discipline and will.

•    Your Fitness.  You can’t completely control this area since health problems strike even the healthiest people.  However, you can still set goals to maintain an optimal level of fitness for your age and condition.  Keeping active is within your control.

•    Your General Attitude.  Maintaining a positive attitude is within your control.  This may not seem possible in the face of adversity, but there are many examples of people who have stayed positive under the direst circumstances and disasters.  If you find it hard to stay positive, make it a goal to learn more about these people and emulate them.

There are some things you can’t control and therefore shouldn’t focus on more than is necessary.  Spending time worrying about them will cause stress and distract you from the things you can control.  There are people who let these uncontrollable forces keep them from working on personal goals – don’t let that happen to you.

•    Friendships.  You can court new friends and do your best to keep them, but some people will break with you or drift away.  This is not in your control and just needs to be accepted as part of life.  Often you will be pleasantly surprised to have old friends come back into your life.  However, if you seem to be driving people away you may need to set a goal to improve your treatment of friends and loved ones.

•    Wealth.  Many seek it and don’t attain it.  Some who attain it have sacrificed everything for it.  Making it a goal can set you up for failure.  For optimum happiness, don’t rely on money and possessions for fulfillment.

•    Failure.  People who don’t accept failure as a fact of life are doomed to unhappiness.  Often failure is beyond our control, so we need to be able to accept it as an inevitable part of life.  Learning from failure and moving on helps to alleviate the pain.

•    The Future.  Despite all our plans and goals, human beings have little control over the future.  The harsh reality is that life could end at any time for each of us.  If you focus on this reality you may become paralyzed with hopelessness.  Living each day to the fullest is the best response.

Looking over this list, it becomes obvious that our own actions and reactions are the only things we have much control over.  Other people and most of the events in the world are clearly beyond our control.  Trying to control them or basing our goals and happiness on them will only lead to frustration and stress.  By concentrating most of your energy on goals that you have control over, you will have more opportunity for success.

Posted on July 15, 2009