Mentors: The secret to making your life more successful

Last week over lunch, a friend and I were reflecting that it was too bad people only got to live life once. We then each shared a few ideas about what we would do differently if we had an opportunity to go back and start all over knowing what we know now.

Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen (well, unless you have a time machine or believe in reincarnation). However, we do have the next best thing:

Mentors

People who have walked the road before us can give us the insight and advice that we lack.

Mentors share with us what their opportunities and challenges were when they were at the same stage in life that we’re at now. They can illuminate the path because, let’s face it, life is full of foggy, confusing decisions and it’s not always easy to know what to do.

How to find a mentor

Start by figuring out what your own goals in life are. This might not seem like the most obvious place to start but it will help you to find the right mentor and it will help you and your mentor get a strong start.

Next, identify the people who you aspire to be like. Use your goals as a guideline — whose life reflects the accomplishment of the goals you have set out for yourself? Another way to find the right mentor is to think about whose life you envy. Although we should eradicate envy and jealousy from our lives, a little envy is a good guide to help you find the perfect mentor. Whose life do you envy? Whose job/business do you envy? Who has the healthy-living habits or the wealth-building habits or the relationship-growing habits that you envy?

Once you’ve found some potential mentors, approach them and ask. Just ask something as simple as, “hey, I’m looking for a mentor and I was wondering if you would spend an hour or two with me every month.” Don’t ask them for a huge commitment (although you’ll probably find that they will happily give more).

Then get started. Set up an initial meeting and share your goals and why you have chosen them to be your mentor. Ask for their help and insight to accomplish your goals. Ask lots of questions and LISTEN. Listen to what they have to say. At the end of your meeting, thank them and set up a meeting the next month.

Then, go out and put their advice in action. Don’t harass them but send them brief, periodic updates through the month to let them know what your progress is and to get some course correcting suggestions as you go.

By finding mentors and learning from them, we can have the best possible solution to the “if I knew then what I know now” problem.

Posted on January 25, 2012