Kill Your Pessimism, Change Your Life
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22 Happy Comments
Harness The Power of Your Thoughts
Anyone who’s interested in personal development might wonder what it is that allows some people to meet the challenges of life and succeed in their personal goals, while other people are overwhelmed by problems and failures.
The single factor that most successful and happy people have in common is that they have adopted an optimistic approach to life.
Optimists are able to achieve more because they have the energy to persist and to feel challenged by problems rather than overwhelmed. Studies have shown that optimists do better in school, enjoy better health, sustain longer and more loving relationships, stay close to their children and even make more money.
Having an optimistic frame of mind is definitely something that everyone should strive for, but many who are pessimistic think they are stuck with a negative way of thinking. This is not true.
Abraham Lincoln has been quoted as saying in the later part of his life, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” This quote shows that Lincoln was aware of the power of positive thinking. As a young man, Lincoln was known for his melancholy and depression, but by the time he was President and facing the national crisis of the Civil War, he had adopted thought patterns that allowed him to experience happiness and joy in the midst of tragedy.
Lincoln had learned how to change his thinking and eliminate pessimism.
It is possible to change your thinking and become more positive. The life of Abraham Lincoln and many other successful and accomplished people have shown that it can be done. Cognitive therapists believe we can control our moods with our thoughts, rather than blaming feelings on external events.
These are some suggestions which cognitive therapists make for becoming more optimistic:
Optimists avoid negative thought patterns.
In his Autobiography, Mark Twain wrote, “Life does not consist mainly – or even largely – of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one’s head.” This storm of thoughts may consist of a lot of negativity, including fears and self-doubts. Over time, the flow of negative thoughts can take its toll and result in depression and a pessimistic view of the world.
By becoming conscious of the flow of negative thoughts, it’s possible to reverse them.
A physical prop can be used to increase awareness of negativity. Making a list of negative thoughts over a period of several days is one way to became more aware. Another suggestion is to wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you have a negative thought. Becoming aware of the frequency of your negative thoughts is the first step towards learning to slow them down and ignoring them. This is something that optimists do on a daily basis.
Optimists look for the source of negative thoughts.
For many people, the flow of negative thoughts echo things they heard in childhood. Parents and teachers can instill negative attitudes that become part of a life-long thought pattern. By analyzing negative thoughts and recognizing their source, you’re one step closer to replacing them with positive thinking. Realizing that these aren’t really your own thoughts can make it easier to part with them.
Optimists look for the positive angle.
A successful optimist doesn’t wear blinders and try to ignore the hardships and challenges that are part of living. Instead, the optimist is aware of the realities of a situation, but tries to see it in the best light possible. This includes having positive opinions about the motivations of other people. Adopting a positive point of view frees the mind from worry, can influence other people and may actually bring about a positive outcome.
There’s power in the realization that you can control your thinking and change it to be more optimistic.
Analyzing negative thought patterns, recognizing their source and working to replace them with a positive point of view are techniques practiced by every optimist, whether consciously or unconsciously. What gives optimists the energy and motivation to keep emphasizing the positive? A deep awareness and appreciation of the beauty in life helps optimists stay positive.
These are some of the elements of this appreciation:
• Express gratitude. Optimists chose to focus on the things for which they’re grateful, making it a habit to “count their blessings.” If you don’t think you have anything to be grateful for, try making a list. Add everything that would be hard to live without to the list. Since you do have these things, you can be grateful for them.
• Appreciate the kindness of others. An awareness of the acts of kindness from others reinforces a sense of the goodness in people. Every day we meet people who graciously perform small acts of kindness that make our lives more pleasant. Rather than focusing on the rude or demanding people you meet, take time to appreciate and thank those who are generous.
• Try, try again…and again. Everyone encounters failure. Focusing on failure can eliminate hope and cause a person to stop trying. Rather than being stalled by temporary setbacks, an optimist accepts failure, learns from it and moves on. Resiliency goes hand in hand with optimism.
• Practice contentment. If your happiness is dependent on material possessions, then you’re setting yourself up for potential unhappiness. Learning to be content with what you have is an important aspect of optimism. An optimistic person can still have goals and work for success, but self-worth and happiness aren’t based on success or failure.
• Relish life. Along with suffering in the world, there is incredible beauty. Optimists find a way to savor the beauty throughout the day. They don’t ignore problems, but they also don’t let problems blind them to the richness that surrounds us every day.
Hopefulness is a state of mind which is based on the belief that desired outcomes will come to pass and that things will turn out for the best. Like optimism, hope is an important component of happiness. By practicing positive thinking, you can open your mind to hopefulness. With hope, it’s possible to rise above even the direst of circumstances.
According to Christopher Reeve, who went from playing Superman in films to becoming a quadriplegic following an equestrian accident, “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.”
With optimism and hope, life’s challenges and downturns can be faced without fear.
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When it comes to negativity and pessimism, how do YOU deal with it?
I would love to hear your comments. 
Posted on August 4, 2009
Hi Dayne,
You make some important points. It is all about positivity. My experience is a little different though. I found that when I can face up to negative emotions and beliefs, I can easily release them. What is left is positivity. Positivity doesn’t come from the cultivation of positive thinking; it’s already there, as our true nature, when I stop making judgments of positive or negative, and simply release.
.-= Kaushik´s last blog ..A Gentle Honesty =-.
WOOOHOO!! Kill that pessimism! It’s not easy (especially if you’re more naturally prone to negative thoughts as I am), but if I can do it, anyone can do it. Wonderful post…You’ve made so many great points here about being positive and, of course, I’m all about that!
.-= Positively Present´s last blog ..how to start right where you are =-.
Kaushik – You make some great points about confronting the negative, releasing, and letting natural positivity arise. You are absolutely right. Thanks for pointing that out.
Dani- You are right Dani, it is not easy to kill pessimism, especially when you are more prone to be negative. I guess what we have to get at is WHY we are so negative, and face it like Kaushik mentioned. And yes Dani, you are all about positivity, your blog is fine example of that. ::)
Thank you BOTH for commenting!
Dayne
.-= Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..Kill Your Pessimism, Change Your Life =-.
Hello Dayne. Since I have ongoing clinical depression, I have realized for many years that medication or counseling only carries one so far. I have to make a daily effort to fight this, but there ARE ways. For me, a gratitude journal, helping others, reading motivational material (such as this blog of yours), prayer, and keeping busy while throwing in some silent moments…all of these help beyond measure.
Karen
Hi again Karen, thanks for commenting. Yes, depression is tricky. I’ve actually had bouts of it myself (along with panic/anxiety) so I can relate to you on a certain level. You are right, medication and counseling only go so far…the rest is up to you. You might check out the book “The Mindfulness Way Through Depression” by Mark Williams. I read it, and it is awesome. Just an FYI.
Lastly, a gratitude journal and giving to others are also great things to do. You are doing all the right things.
Good job!
Thanks again for stopping by and have a great one!
Dayne
I think one of the best ways to remain optimistic is to continually express gratitude and appreciation for the good things in life. Even in the face of an overwhelmingly sad or tense situation, if we can find something to be grateful for (genuinely grateful, not just “face” gratitude) we start the process to making it as good as it can be. I was really happy to see this expressed in your post! Once I started being grateful for what I have, instead of bemoaning what I might not, I get out of my own way and let more good in.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Random Ramblings of a Monday Mind =-.
Amy, you are right…gratitude and appreciation are key. Like you said, there is something positive we can always focus on, even in the hard times. Not easy, but doable. It’s just a matter of making the slightest change in our focus.
I love how you said you “get out of your own way”. Perfect!
Thanks again for visiting here,
Dayne
I have recently been trying just this. I love critiquing and will never stop. However, I have been trying to start and follow my critiquing with positivity. It can be tough but creating a new habit is great.
Thanks for your motivation….
Dave
LifeExcursion
.-= David Damron´s last blog ..Just Get Up =-.
Hey there Dave, thanks for commenting.
Yes, new habits can be hard. It can take several weeks for them to take hold, but really in the overall picture of life, that is nothing. And if they are positive ones, they usually breed other positive habits. Of course, the same can be said regarding negative habits. You really do have a choice. 
Thanks again,
Dayne
Being appreciative of the things we have in our life now, creates good thoughts. It puts us in a space where very few understand. Gratitude for everything we have is such a powerful emotion, yet people always ask for more and more. Many people nowadays only ask but a never graceful for what they are already give
Nice post.
.-= jonathanfigaro´s last blog ..Power of Positive Thinking =-.
Hi Jonathan, and thanks for visiting here. You are spot on with appreciation, it is a really good way to spark good thoughts. It’s amazing how people can be very selfish and not give or appreciate what they have. Sad but true. Thanks so much for commenting here and taking time. I DO appreciate that!
Cheers,
Dayne
Great post!Optimism is a truly valuable characteristic.
Dr Martin Seligman (Learned Optimism) has done a lot of work on optimism and shown that optimistic people aren’t just positive, they also respond to negative situations in a particular way.
For instance if an optimistic person gets told off by their boss for a mistake, their belief would be that:
1. The boss is probably in a bad mood (it’s an external cause, not their own fault)
2. It was a temporary mistake. Tomorrow will be better (temporary)
3. The mistake applies to that task and nothing else (specific)
In contrast a pessimistic person would think:
1. I’m incompetent (it’s my fault)
2. I’m always going to be incompetent (permanent)
3. I’m no good at ANYTHING (generalised)
See how the pessimistic person is setting themselves up for misery just by the way they react to one situation?
The optimistic thought pattern is a habit. And so like with any habit, optimism can be developed.
.-= Kaizan´s last blog ..How to Eat Less – and Still be Happy =-.
Hi there Kaizan, your points are very good. As you have stated, the pessimistic person thinks in terms of themselves (“I’M incompetent or I’M no good at anything” etc.). It is very self centered and based on ego. I think a big key to an optimist is the dropping of that ego.
Thank you so much for your brilliant comment here, I really appreciate your time!
Cheers,
Dayne
I am a big fan of using the power of language to kick out pessimism and increase optimism. When expressing negative feelings, use Euphemism (make them mild), when expressing positive feelings, use exaggeration (make them stronger). This is simple but quite effective.
.-= Avani Mehta´s last blog ..Tap Into The PowerHouse Of Negative Emotions =-.
Avani, using euphemisms is a great idea! Thank you for sharing that. Also, I think when people fear something, it helps to make something scary into something…comical. It changes or shifts the way we view something scary or negative, and makes it positive.
Thanks again for commenting!
Dayne
Nice post you have here! I believe our thoughts really do create what we choose to experience.
.-= Baker´s last blog ..Don’t Use A Yardstick To Measure Up =-.
This is such a great post and so on point. I think a lot of times it is so easy to discount the impact of your mood on your life and what you are trying to accomplish. I know for me it is a new way of thinking and it is almost like you have to reprogram yourself. I really liked the Mark Twain quote and you are so right, there is power in discovering that you can control your thinking and make it more optimistic. Thanks for the reminder.
.-= alternaview´s last blog ..“Everything Proceeds by an Orderly Sequence of Growth” =-.
Baker – Thank you for the compliment, I’m glad you liked the post.
Feel free to come by again, thanks!
Alternaview – Welcome and thanks for commenting. I’m glad you liked the Twain quote as well, I thought it was perfectly appropriate for this post. Once we can get a grip on our thoughts, like you say, our life can change.
Dayne,
Thank you for the reminder to remain ‘optimistic.’ I must have been in the same frame of mind the last few days because I wrote a blog post yesterday (Simply Said blog) about breaking free of those ‘things’ that can weigh down your own positive spirit and creativity (the barnacles in our life.)
This is the first time to your blog, and I will return.
Here’s a direct link below to the Simply Said post mentioned above that might be a nice sequel to your cool post.
Thanks,
Joanne Maly, Lincoln Maly Marketing, Cincinnati, Ohio
http://www.lincolnmalymarketing.com/blog/simply-said/2009/08/05/creativity_stuck_by_barnacles_g28rkcf76/
.-= Joanne Maly´s last blog ..Creativity Stuck by Barnacles – Break Free =-.
Hey there Joanne, thanks for commenting and visiting here!
Thanks for sharing your blog post, I just read it and you are right, what a great post and blog! Nice job. I love the whole concept of barnacles.
Thanks again for sharing and commenting!
Dayne
I am a person who struggles endlessly with intrusive bad thoughts and pessimistic views. I have trouble functioning unless I am constantly doing an activity to get my mind off of things. Any time I take time to just relax, i start thinking of the future and worry about different things and that leaves me lost in the present. I want to get rid of these thoughts because they are controlling my life, i want to move on to bigger and better things but it is hard to get out of the rut…what are some easy things to do to get me started? thanks for listening