How To Love The Things You Hate
Post written by Dayne. Follow him on Twitter.
13 Happy Comments
Change your heart, change your life.
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from my good friend Diggy. Diggy writes all about Self Improvement at his blog Upgradereality.com. His goals are to inspire and motivate people to become their best selves, follow their passions and reach their dreams. If you enjoyed this post you can subscribe to his RSS feed or follow him at Twitter.
How To Love The Things You Hate.
You know that feeling where you can’t stand something? Every passing second of being exposed to it annoys you more and more. You start thinking of negative and destructive ways how to completely remove that thing that annoys you out of this world for once and for all, wishing it would just cease to exist.
There is also the feeling of hatred for another person. Wishing bad things upon them. The more you let the hate run, the more you fuel it, the more it consumes you.
I love this quote from Master Yoda in Star Wars:
“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Hate is a terrible thing. It is not beneficial. Hate is destructive and negative, affecting everyone and everything in it’s path. I’m going to show you a process how you can stop hating anything, and instead turn it into neutral feelings or even love.
How To Remove Hate From Your Life…
1. It Begins In Your Mind
You become as you think. The more you repeat something to yourself in your mind, the more likely it will be that your reality is shaped towards it. For instance, the more you think you suck at tennis, the more likely it will be that you will never become a good tennis player. In fact, it is very probable that you will strongly dislike tennis and not enjoy the sport at all.
The process of starting to love the things you hate starts in your mind. You need to stop repeating the fact that you hate something or someone. Every time you repeat it to yourself, it strengthens and fuels your hatred. Become aware of your thoughts and STOP repeating the fact that you hate it.
2. Analyze Your Hatred Logically
Now that you are no longer fueling your hatred, try to analyze the reason why your hatred exists. Is it because of fear, or jealousy, or because of the effect that someone or something has on you or your life?
Once you do this (list your reasons or write them down on paper) you will often find that there are no real reasons why you hate something so much. At most it is a minor annoyance or something that you can avoid so that it will no longer be part of your life. This way you will not have to hate anything or anyone.
3. Hatred Is a Burden
Hatred is a burden to carry with you. It weighs you down. It causes opportunities to pass you by. It negatively affects those people you are in contact with (whether they be complete strangers or your closest friends and family). There is no way that you can love with all you heart if you carry a consuming hatred with you.
4. Find the Good About What You Hate
“There is good in every bad”
You may not see it. You may be blinded by your frustration,anger or hatred about something or someone. There is something good about the thing you hate. Find it and focus on it. This whole process is the trick of stopping the fueling of the hate (by repeating the fact that you hate it), and replacing it with the positive and good aspects about that thing.
Conclusion
Do not allow yourself to hate for another moment. Life is beautiful and precious. We all only have a limited time on this planet, and that time should be used positively. Filled with Happiness and Love.
The next time you find yourself hating something or someone, use the 3-step process I outlined above. Turn your hate into love. If you cannot learn to love the thing you hate, then at least you can remove it from your life so you are no longer in contact with it. That way, you no longer have to carry the hate and are free to love with all your heart.
Love, Enjoy, Live!
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Posted on November 2, 2009
Heya Dayne!
Thanks again for putting up this post. I hope your readers enjoy it!
Have a beautiful week ahead!
Cheers!
Diggy – Upgradereality.com´s last blog ..Giving Value vs Taking Value
Hey there Diggy!
You are very welcome, thanks for adding such a wonderful contribution to this blog. I’m sure many of the readers here will enjoy it greatly. Great stuff!
Have a fantastic week!
Dayne
Yes! Find the good in what you hate is crucial to turning frowns upside down. A friend once told me to just “consider that person’s flaw as part of his charm.” That little saying has worked miracles for my view of the world.
The Tango Notebook´s last blog ..How the (Fine) Art of Tango Inspired These Two Artists
Really great post, Diggy! I liked it a lot!
positively present´s last blog ..inspired by the opposite of love
Hey Dayne,
It’s a wonderful post. I loved it very.
keep it up
Hanan Ramadan
I really enjoyed this post, especially how hate can be a burden. Nicely done!
Miche´s last blog ..There Is No Such Thing As Stuck
Yeah. It is a nice one. Many people including me will have such hatred on something or somebody. Once we are able to let that go of our mind. it will ease our mind and adds strength. I totally endorse your view.
With Best wishes,
I really like this post. So many of us go through so much of life complaining about things we hate. Some people chose the really big things like their job. I know I’ve done it in the past. This is such a useful lesson for all of us.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..Coffee and Daydreams: A Simple Method for Daily Visualization
Thanks for this post. It doesn’t matter how logically something is going to be okay. If we hate something emotionally, we’re have a hard time doing it. By changing the way we feel to a more positive state, things get done a lot easier!
Eventually, loving the things we hate become more possible. E.g. vegetables.
Tristan Lee´s last blog ..The Illusion of Success
Hate is a terrible burden. You are absolutely correct that it “begins in your mind.” It’s a definate product of negative thinking. It’s much harder to hate when you try to remain positive and keep a positive attitude. There is a lot of hate in this world. What a wonderful world this would be if everyone could replace their hate with love!
Eric´s last blog ..The Open Mind Test – Part 1: An Open Minded 2nd Grader
i agree that hatred is a burden. Once we are able to empty it out of our system it the rest will become just as easy.
great post
Josten´s last blog ..How to Commit 100%
Thanks Diggy (and Dayne) – very nicely put.
As a wise old friend once said to me, every time you point a finger of blame at someone else, just remember that you have three fingers pointing back at you.
Best to you both, Robin
Robin Dickinson´s last blog ..How be unique and stand out from the crowd