Don’t Hold a Grudge!
If you really want to be happy, DON’T hold grudges!
When you are holding a grudge, the hate that you are experiencing simmers inside of you and can suck the joy out of your life. It’s quite hard to be happy when all that is on your mind is the wrong that someone has done to you, and the baggage that a grudge creates can hold you down for years.
When you hold a grudge, you have to put energy into it; you have to keep on returning to the memory and feeding your resentment. Although your feelings may be perfectly justified, this process never gets anywhere. It drains your energy and your motivation and your ability to enjoy life. But it’s hard to let go of it because letting go feels like saying what happened was okay, and it wasn’t okay.
If you spend time looking in your rear view mirror at the bad memories you’re dragging behind you, you’re taking your eyes off the road ahead, and that’s an invitation to a crash, or not to be able to enjoy the things right in front of you, or progressing ahead in your own life.
Stop examining your hurt, turning it over and over again in your mind. Whenever you find yourself doing that, STOP immediately, and start thinking about something positive, like your goals or plans for the future.
Grudges negatively affect our bodies and minds and we need to rid them from our lives. That might be easier said than done, but there are steps we can take to move toward forgiveness and eventually peace of mind:
Commit to Letting Go – Allowing grudges to fester destroys peace of mind and leads to misery and suffering. Commit to letting go of grudges by first admitting that you have them.
Shift Focus – You can alleviate grudges by deciding to spend your energy focusing on happier things. Most grudges are too old to hold onto.
Make a Grudge List – List on a sheet of paper every grudge and resentment that pops into your head. Don’t censor, it’s always better to be honest, especially with yourself.
Confess - They say confession is good for the soul, tell a trusted confidante about each grudge and see how much better you feel. It’s a relief to be grudge and resentment free.
Say Goodbye – Read over your grudges one by one, and say goodbye to the pain and suffering they have caused you (say them out loud if you have to).
Forgive Yourself – Forgive yourself and move on. After all, letting go of grudges is for you.
Anyone who’s held a grudge can tell you, constantly thinking about a person or event that made you mad or sad only heightens the feelings and makes you more anxious and irritable. Anger is an emotion that can provide us with a good indication that we should either change the circumstances that exist within our life or remove ourselves from a situation altogether.
Grudges are the domain of small, petty people, not you, life is too short to be hung up on hate for the whole time that you are here, and being unforgiving may make you feel invulnerable, but it will most definitely cost you happiness in the long run.
Forgive and never forget (forgiveness is your personal freedom).
Once again, thank you for reading TheHappySelf.com
Posted on February 16, 2010