Don’t Hold a Grudge!

Post written by Warren. Follow him on Twitter.

Don't hold a grudge

Never hold a grudge

If you really want to be happy, DON’T hold grudges!

When you are holding a grudge, the hate that you are experiencing simmers inside of you and can suck the joy out of your life. It’s quite hard to be happy when all that is on your mind is the wrong that someone has done to you, and the baggage that a grudge creates can hold you down for years.
When you hold a grudge, you have to put energy into it; you have to keep on returning to the memory and feeding your resentment. Although your feelings may be perfectly justified, this process never gets anywhere. It drains your energy and your motivation and your ability to enjoy life. But it’s hard to let go of it because letting go feels like saying what happened was okay, and it wasn’t okay.
If you spend time looking in your rear view mirror at the bad memories you’re dragging behind you, you’re taking your eyes off the road ahead, and that’s an invitation to a crash, or not to be able to enjoy the things right in front of you, or progressing ahead in your own life.
Stop examining your hurt, turning it over and over again in your mind. Whenever you find yourself doing that, STOP immediately, and start thinking about something positive, like your goals or plans for the future.
Grudges negatively affect our bodies and minds and we need to rid them from our lives. That might be easier said than done, but there are steps we can take to move toward forgiveness and eventually peace of mind:

Commit to Letting Go – Allowing grudges to fester destroys peace of mind and leads to misery and suffering. Commit to letting go of grudges by first admitting that you have them.

Shift Focus – You can alleviate grudges by deciding to spend your energy focusing on happier things. Most grudges are too old to hold onto.

Make a Grudge List – List on a sheet of paper every grudge and resentment that pops into your head. Don’t censor, it’s always better to be honest, especially with yourself.

Confess - They say confession is good for the soul, tell a trusted confidante about each grudge and see how much better you feel. It’s a relief to be grudge and resentment free.

Say Goodbye – Read over your grudges one by one, and say goodbye to the pain and suffering they have caused you (say them out loud if you have to).

Forgive Yourself – Forgive yourself and move on. After all, letting go of grudges is for you.

Anyone who’s held a grudge can tell you, constantly thinking about a person or event that made you mad or sad only heightens the feelings and makes you more anxious and irritable. Anger is an emotion that can provide us with a good indication that we should either change the circumstances that exist within our life or remove ourselves from a situation altogether.

Grudges are the domain of small, petty people, not you, life is too short to be hung up on hate for the whole time that you are here, and being unforgiving may make you feel invulnerable, but it will most definitely cost you happiness in the long run.

Forgive and never forget (forgiveness is your personal freedom).

Once again, thank you for reading


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Posted on February 16, 2010

Happy Comments

8 Responses to “Don’t Hold a Grudge!”
  1. Kaushik says:

    As the Buddhists say, holding on to a grudge is like holding on to a hot coal, waiting to throw it at someone. Best, and easy, to let go.
    .-= Kaushik´s last blog ..Divine Valentine and 2012 =-.

  2. I think the fact that we can even hold a grudge proves how seriously we take some things and how much people can wound us psychologically. Building independence and emotional toughness is my favorite way to not hold a grudge.

  3. Ben Weston says:

    good list of recommendations. I know of people for which the grudges will fester inside of them to the point of actual illnesses and disease.

    The common theme amongst the recommendations is choice. It’s choosing to take control of the grudges, which sometimes may not be something people want.
    .-= Ben Weston´s last blog ..How To Get What You Want =-.

  4. Walter says:

    Grudges are something we treasure, despite the fact the it gives us no benefit whatsoever. Until we realize that grudges keep us miserable, we will never really learn to forgive and let go. :-)

  5. Korin says:

    Holding grudges is an immature way to be mad at someone and it’s just easier to apologize and be over with the mess.

  6. dlysen says:

    People who held their grudges become more happier when they let go of it. It is just like letting go or leaving up the heavy loads. It is nicer to thing happy than thinking all of your grudges.

  7. PBP says:

    Loved your post so much that I linked it in my blog post! Thank you for sharing some great information!
    PBP´s last blog post ..Grudge: A feeling of ill will or resentment

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