Advice on Taking Advice from Others

by on March 23, 2013
in Mindfulness

Advice on Taking Advice from Others

Are you trying to improve your life but don’t know the right way to take advice from others? How much advice do you get from others? I ask these because most people understand the benefit of getting advice but they don’t know the right way to really accept it.

Should you argue with the person giving you the advice? No.

Should you walk away from somebody going out of their way to help you out? No.

It is imperative that you take any and all advice that you get and try to work it into whatever it is that you are doing. Where many people make the mistake is that they will stand there and listen to the person who is giving them the advice but they won’t do anything further than that. What I suggest is that you take the advice that was given to you and use it. This may be difficult at first being that you don’t know how good the advice is but in the end you will probably be glad that you listened.

So, let me give you some advice on taking advice from others.

Advice on Taking Advice

Listen Before You Speak – This is great advice whether you are getting advice or not. Most people are thinking about what they are going to say even before the other person is done talking and that is not what you want to do. The best thing for you to do is wait for the other person to finish talking and then think about what you will say. Another thing you need to understand is that it is never a good idea to interrupt the individual who is talking if you haven’t heard everything they had to say and don’t have some kind of time sensitive to say.

Don’t Space Off – When getting advice you need not to space off. If you already know what the person is going to say, then act like you don’t. It is courteous to stay in tune with what the person is saying even if it is not interesting to you and you don’t care for what they are talking about at that moment.

Always Thank The Person For The Advice – A good thing to get in the habit of doing is to thank anybody for giving you some advice. Whether the advice was really good or not doesn’t matter, you need to be thankful that the person is taking time out of their day to help you out. I know that saying thank you to somebody that is giving away bad advice may seem like a pointless act but it is important to show kindness to everybody you come in contact with.

Write It Down If You Have To – If you don’t have a very good memory, then write down the advice that people give you. I didn’t believe in this one until one day a wise man told me something that I thought was brilliant and then I later forgot what he said. Just know that taking a minute to write down some great advice is well worth it if that specific advice could come back to benefit you sometime in the future.

When it comes to getting advice you need to be just as open as you would want somebody else to be if you were the one giving the advice. Just think, would you like it if you tried to help somebody out and all they did was waste your time because they didn’t implement the advice that was given to them? My guess is that you wouldn’t like that, so don’t do the same thing to somebody else’s advice.

How To Overcome Your Anger In 4 Simple Steps

by on February 25, 2013
in Mindfulness

The Thinker

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” – Chinese Proverb

Anger is different in every single person and for most people they can control it to a point. However, have you ever come across a time when your anger got the best of you? This could be a fight that you got into, an argument that you quickly regretted as soon as it was over, possibly a tantrum that you threw that wound up breaking something. Whatever it was that you couldn’t prevent doesn’t matter anymore, let’s just prevent it from happening again.

4 Steps To Overcome Your Anger

Take 10 Deep Breaths – The very first thing that you must do when you feel angry is to step back and take 10 deep breaths. While you are taking your breaths I want you to close your eyes and think about something that makes you happy. This could be your children, family or friends, sports, a sunset, or just going on vacation. The benefit of taking 10 deep breaths is to help get oxygen back into your brain as this is one of the downfalls of anger. Studies show that taking 10 deep breaths is just enough to give you time to calm down and think about the consequences of your following actions.

Change Your Scenery – Changing your scenery means that you go to a different room or location than where you currently are. The reason why this method works is because studies have shown that many people will be reminded about what first made them angry just by standing in the same room. It is because of this that you need to change your scenery so that you are not reminded about what took place earlier.

Get Another Person’s Perspective – Do you have a friend that you can call on at anytime? Do you have a spouse that is always with you no matter where you are? If there is somebody around you, then talk to them about what is making you mad. Even if they don’t know the entire story or what really is going on, you need to fill them in and get their perspective on the matter. The reason why getting another person’s perspective is a great idea is because they are thinking clearly while you are probably not.

Tip: Instead of hoping there is somebody that you can talk to, you need to get a partner who has their own anger issues because they will be able to relate to you much better than somebody without an anger problem.

Controlled Release – A controlled release is where you have control over where you release your anger. For example, many men will use a punching bag to release their anger and for many of them it really does work. By hitting something that is meant to be hit you will be able to control what you do and when you do it. Just know that the punching bag needs to be nearby or else your controlled release probably won’t work.

No matter who you are you will always have some anger. This is normal; however, the amount of anger and the frequency that you have it will make the difference between regular individual and person with an anger problem.

Now, if you use all 4 of these steps to overcome your anger and they still don’t work then it is time to talk with a therapist. The reason why I recommend this is because an anger problem can lead to possible jail time and even worse, bodily injury or death.

Know where your playing field is

by on February 5, 2012
in Mindfulness

Since today is the Superbowl, I thought this topic was appropriate. :)

The other day I was working out and I was struggling to reach a workout goal I had set for myself. A brief thought flashed through my mind: “This was the hardest thing I’ve ever done” (I was really pushing myself, after all).

Then I realized something. No, what I was doing in my workout was extremely hard but it WASN’T the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve faced tougher challenges in life. And, while I was working out, I remembered one particular challenge that was tougher — physically and mentally. By thinking about that other experience, I was able to redefine how challenging I thought my workout was and it helped me to realize “If I made it through a tougher challenge, I can make it through this”. Sure enough, it was the gas I needed to keep pushing.

Later, I reflected on this experience and realized how much it was like football (or any sport). It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and for that one single experience to define your reality. But the more successful people will always keep the full field in mind.

Think about your most difficult experience ever and your happiest experience ever. Make those the two goal posts in your playing field. Then, as life takes you on its complicated, circuitous, and sometimes-good-sometimes-hard journey, keep your eye on the full field.

There will be times when you experience something harder or happier than ever before — and that will redefine your field. That’s okay. Just recognize how the playing field has changed and measure everything by that new perspective.

 

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