Informed versus happy – A framework for handling newsmedia negativity
Recently, I was on a phone call with a friend and during the conversation they asked me a question about a recent political situation. I confessed that I didn’t know very much about it. I was embarrassed to admit that I don’t watch a lot of news — online, in the newspaper, or on TV.
I like being informed but I also like being happy and I find that I often can’t be both at the same time.
I could be informed by watching the news. But the news is frequently full of things that are negative and negativity sucks the happiness out of my day. So the less news I watch, the happier I tend to be.
It’s not entirely the newsmedia’s fault. They need to report on what goes on in the world and there ARE negative things that go on. But sometimes I think the negativity is ramped up a bit because it offers up some great soundbites in a highly competitive industry. And I’m not naive enough to think that the answer is in posting only happy news.
I realize that makes me seem like I prefer the happy oblivion of ignorance but it’s not true. I want to be informed; there is a lot of value in it. But I only have a limited amount of mental bandwidth in the day to devote to news and I don’t want to fill it entirely with negativity.
So, here is a sort-of informal framework that I’ve built to help me approach newsmedia to become as thoroughly informed as possible without damaging my happiness:
- Only go online for my news. I get a broader selection of perspectives, faster, than if I watched TV or read the newspaper.
- Use the scan-and-dip approach: Scan a series of headlines from multiple newsmedia (I like the Google News aggregator) and only dip in when I need to know more.
- Push beyond the headline news into industry specific news (i.e., tech and science) where more positive news is often reported.
- Avoid non-essential news (basically celebrity gossip).
- On news items that I do care about, try to get a couple of differing perspectives.
- Don’t spend more than 15 minutes twice a day on this.
- Don’t read the comments that people post to news articles. Ever.
Get out from under the burden of debt
I try not to talk very much about money on TheHappySelf for the simple reason that I don’t want to always draw a direct line between happiness/success and wealth. They can be related but are not necessarily related. I think too many people equate the two as equals.
On the other hand, financial issues can severely dampen our efforts at happiness and living a successful life and one of those issues is debt.
Debt can be a huge burden that can trap us in its claws and keep us from advancing toward happiness. Now, I should clarify that some debt is okay and even necessary for life. And adding to the challenge is the need for credit cards when buying things online. So getting rid of credit cards might have been good advice for your parents or grandparents, it’s not a reality for us today.
Debt is always going to be an ever-present reality in life. But that debt should not grow beyond what we can manage.
Unfortunately, it’s SO easy to get sucked into a cycle of incurring debt and then paying it off, incurring more debt and then paying it off, etc. A few minutes of shopping can really add up the debt — not only the amount that we owe but also the interest that will be added on if we don’t pay it immediately.
And debt is subtle, too. We can look at our credit card statement of only a couple thousand owing and think “I can pay that off in a couple months, easily”… but it adds up (especially if we try to pay it off without first cutting back on our spending). Before you know it, within just a few months $2,000 can turn into $4,000 which can turn into $6,000… and before you know it you owe more than you make in a year. (I’ve seen it happen to A LOT of people).
So what’s the answer? Well I should point out that I’m not a financial advisor and I obviously can’t give individualized financial advice to every person. But in general, here’s what I think needs to happen:
- First, you need a plan to curb your spending. Or cut it off completely for a short time. Yes, this is a sacrifice and sacrifices aren’t fun but I think it’s the best first step (and I also think it’s the reason that many people fail at paying off debt).
- Second, you need an austerity plan. This shouldn’t just be about no more frivolous spending. This should be about making some significant temporary sacrifices. In other words, don’t just stop using credit cards (which is a good first step) but you should also temporarily stop spending in other non-essential areas, too. Then direct your saved cash to your debt.
- Third, you need to consolidate debt to a lower-interest loan. Interest is like a silent ninja-killer and it adds up fast.
- Fourth, you need to get aggressive in paying off your debt. Don’t just make minimum payments. Pay as much as you can.
- Fifth, if at all possible, try to earn more income (even temporarily) to pay off the debt.
Again, I’m not a financial advisor but I have scene the unhappy result of debt in a person’s life. It’s such an easy situation to find yourself in and it’s imperative that you recognize the dangers and get out as quickly as possible.
When you’re in debt, it is SO HARD to be happy. But if you can get out from under the burden, you’ll be amazed at how good it feels.
I was particularly inspired by this story of one woman who paid off $6,000 in debt in only six weeks!
Starters, managers, and finishers: Which one are you?
A project has a start, a middle, an end; a project uses resources to complete; and there is usually some effort required to complete the project successfully.
Life is full of projects. Pretty much everything is a project — from making a meal to driving to work to DOING your work to raising kids to running a business to weeding your garden to planning your wedding. Everything you do in life is a project.
Are you with me so far? Good. Now here is something I’ve observed:
There are three types of people in the world — People who start projects well, people who run projects well, and people who finish projects well. Let’s call them starters, managers, and finishers.
Starters are dreamers and get passionate about building something from scratch. They have the energy and drive to fight against gravity and get the wheels moving.
Managers take what has been started and work with inertia to keep things rolling in the right direction.
Finishers are people who can pick up from the manager and successfully take the project to completion.
In my experience, we are all good at ONLY one of those things and we need other people to help us with the other two parts. We might have some skills in one or two of the other areas and we might even have learned to do those other two activities out of necessity (SOMEONE has to raise your kids! haha) but I believe we are all wired to really excel and get charged up from one of those activities only.
So…
Which one are you? Which one is your spouse? Which ones describe your coworkers and/or business partners?
Understanding this can simple truth about ourselves and the people around us can dramatically transform how well we do projects.
Maybe you’re a starter who has been tasked with managing at work. Maybe you’re a new parent who finishes well but struggles with management. Maybe you’re a finisher and you’re trying to start a business.
We need other people to help us. When we figure out which of those 3 “work-types” we are and which of the 3 our friends and family members are, we can all work together better.
Take something like supper: Maybe you’re a great starter who can dream up amazing dishes from next to nothing and your spouse is a great finisher who plates up dishes that could be in 5-star restaurants. Rather than taking turns making supper, why not use the way you’re wired to help: You start supper and you hand it off to your spouse to finish. Sure, you both end up cooking every day instead of every other day but you end up doing things you’re good at.
Okay, so I used a “make supper” example and you were hoping that I used a “raise the kids” example. With kids, maybe you’re a starter who can start a craft or a sand castle or the bedtime routine or homework and your spouse is a finisher. Yeah, someone will need to manage it through the middle. I’m not saying this is a perfect model that will keep you from ever doing the other two things you’re not as good at. But at least you understand yourself a bit better and can maybe look at the various projects in life with a new perspective.
