The best time management system I’ve ever used

There are a lot of time management systems out there. I like and have used David Allen’s Getting Things Done (GTD) system. And I use several parts of his system still.

But my favorite time management system is Stephen Covey’s First Things First system. (He might not call it a time management system but that’s a simple way to describe one of its functions).

With First Things First, you really do put “first things first”. Rather than starting with your list of tasks and to-do’s, you start with the relationships that are important to you. You choose a few of those relationships, set specific goals to accomplish with them in the week, and schedule those goals. You also add in some personal growth time, too.

Once you’ve scheduled in those essential parts, THEN you add all of your other tasks and to-dos around those.

What I like about his system is that it puts our relationships first. That’s so powerful because it’s really our relationships that enrich our lives. And I like that it forces me to think about how I can add value to key people in my life. (To be honest, it’s so easy to let a day, a week, and even a month slip by without thinking about how I can improve my relationships. But with Covey’s First Things First system, I’m forced to think first about the people who are important to me before I figure out everything else)

Like all time management systems, Covey’s isn’t perfect. I think we all need to cobble together a time management “Frankensystem” that works for us individually. But if I could recommend any changes to your time management, it would be to figure out how you can adopt a First Things First approach and start intentionally adding more value to your relationships.

The 60 Second De-stress Exercise

Way back in the day, I used to work at a pretty stressful job. By “pretty stressful” I mean “brutal”. The company had a churn-and-burn mentality when it came to employees and the customers thought I was their own personal verbal punching bag. Everything was an emergency.

It was a pretty nasty situation and I got out as soon as I could… but in the couple of years that I was there, I learned an extremely valuable technique that I wanted to share with you:

The 60 Second De-Stress Exercise

Use this exercise whenever you find yourself overwhelmed by the circumstances of life. Hopefully you don’t have to use it very often but it’s a useful tool to have just in case.

First, you’ll need to excuse yourself from the situation – just long enough to do the exercise. Slipping out to another room, or even just to the washroom, can give you just enough space to do this exercise.

You’re going to count down from 60 to 0. (If you have a timer or a stopwatch, that will work. If you don’t have one, just count down in your head).

And while you do that, here’s what you are going to do:

In the first fifteen seconds, you’re going to get rid of the stress:

While counting down from 60 to 55, inhale as deeply as you can and tell yourself that you are ending the stress spiral.

Hold it for the count of 55 to 50.

Exhale deeply from 50 to 45. Meanwhile, think about exhaling all of the anger and stress and emotional burden.

In the second fifteen seconds, you’re going to remember what’s important in life:

While counting down from 45 to 40, inhale as deeply as you can and remind yourself of the important things in life (i.e., family, your personal goals, your health and happiness).

Hold it for the count of 40 to 35. And smile the biggest smile you possibly can. Keep this smile for the rest of the time.

Exhale deeply from 35 to 30. Think about how important these things are to you and what you are willing to do to keep them and/or achieve them.

In the third fifteen seconds, you’re going to take back control of your thoughts and feelings:

While counting down from 30 to 25, inhale as deeply as you can and remind yourself that YOU are the one in control of how you think and feel and act.

Hold it for the count of 25 to 20.

Exhale deeply from 20 to 15. Decide that you will be the only one who controls your life (including your stress level) and that you CHOOSE to remain calm and level headed.

In the fourth fifteen seconds, you’re going to get pumped up and ready to face the situation again:

While counting down from 15 to 10, inhale as deeply as you can and make the conscious decision to find a positive, creative, win/win solution for whatever stressful situation you are in the middle of.

Hold it for the count of 10 to 5.

Exhale deeply from 5 to 0. Think about how much better you feel.

Now go out there and deal with the stress!

This 60 Second De-stress will help you to feel better about the situation and can melt away the burden of stress. Try it out. Let me know in the comments if you’ve found it helpful!

The one list no one makes (but everyone should)

I’m a huge list-maker. I love lists! They keep me focused and on track. I have a list of goals for my life and I work relentlessly toward them every day.

A lot of people have a list like that (even if they haven’t written it down… although you really SHOULD write down your goals; but that’s a different blog post altogether). Lots of people make lists (on paper or in their minds) of the things they want and lists of the things they aspire to.

That’s great.

But there is one list that almost no one makes but everyone should. I have a list like this and it has changed my life.

We should all make a list of things we don’t like about life. I don’t mean a list that reads “broccoli, dentists, nails on chalkboards” — haha. I mean a list of things about our life that we don’t like. Some examples that I know would be on a lot of peoples’ lists include:

• The way we feel when we go to work in the morning
• Our level of fitness
• “Friends” who suck the life out of us
• How tired we are at night
• How our boss makes us feel

… you get the idea. We should all make a list of things that are broken/askew/poisonous in our lives; things that leave us with a bad taste in our mouths or a nasty pit in our stomachs; things that keep us awake at night.

Make this list as long as it needs to be and then start dealing with them.

Unfortunately, most people won’t do this. The list-making part is easy but dealing with the issue is hard. It’s disruptive and often creates a lot of short-term turmoil in our lives. But when you cross it off your list, you won’t believe how good it feels. Plus, it frees up your life to devote more focus on your goals.

Many years ago I had a job that left me with a nasty pit in my stomach every Sunday night as I dreaded going into work on Monday morning. The job went on the list, I quit the job, and I felt GREAT!

Not that long ago I had a client whose project started out as a joy but became a burden. I didn’t realize at first that it was a burden but I found myself losing sleep at night because of it and I found myself dreading having to work on it. I told the client I couldn’t complete their project and we went our separate ways.

I’ve done that for relationships and situations that have left me feeling the same way. There is a LOT of chaos and turmoil for the brief period as you deal with it. But the result is so superior that once you’ve started crossing things off of this list, you won’t want to stop.

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