The Art of Surrender: The Lesson of Swimming Pools on Life

Life is hard. Big surprise, huh?

Every single day, billions of us scatter about in our lives going from task to task, job to job, person to person, like little worker ants. We have deadlines to meet, bills to pay, health issues to worry about, relationship problems (or lack of relationships), and the list goes on and on. You and I are no different.

So this got me to thinking the other day after driving by the local public pool. Bright sun. Lots of kids. And plenty of heat.  The heart of summer in full effect in this tiny, conservative town. But as I looked closer among all the chaos of kids diving and splashing, I noticed one person who stood out.

What was this person doing? Was it another person diving from the diving board into the cool and refreshing water? Or was it a mother taking notice of her little girl in the shallow end of the pool enjoying the day?

No, it wasn’t any of the above.

This person was doing one thing, and one thing very well among all the chaos around her…

NOTHING.

Ok, actually she was doing something, but nothing like the rest of the people around her. She was simply floating, on her back, relaxed…in a part of the pool that was not nearly as occupied as the rest. Peacefully floating. Like a leaf on water. Simply dead to the world around her floating on her back, and calm as could be. Simple zen in a public pool, enjoying the bliss of floating and simply being.

Now I know you probably know this feeling of floating, when you simply let go and lay on your back in a swimming pool. Heck, you may not have done this since your own childhood.  If you haven’t, I highly recommend doing it again so you can reconnect with not only your inner child…but to get back to the whole lesson of…the art of surrender.

When we are in resistance against life, against the way things really are in reality, we use great amounts of mental and physical energy. It can be, at times, like trying to change the wind…you simply can’t. Yet we try, and we fail. The key is to learn the art of surrender to what is. No resistance and add acceptance.

Imagine life itself is the water in a brilliant blue swimming pool. Shinning, full of life and vibrant blue sheen. When you are in with life (the pool in this case), you are surrounded by it. If you let go and surrender to it, you will find yourself floating. Life will support you…naturally. It is effortless. When you resist it by splashing around or panicking, what happens? You sink…quickly. Not only that, you expend a lot of energy, create a lot of internal and external stress, and more. It simply is the hard way to live life. You can learn to surrender and let life support you naturally, or you can resist it and sink.

Just think, if this EXACT moment, even if you label it “good” or “bad” was naturally suppose to be different, it would be, right? There is no changing reality. Reality just is. What you think is “suppose” to be is a simple assumption of what YOU think life should be like on your terms, not the universe’s. But you and I both know, we are not in total control of what is. There is something more going on. A natural buzz of life with it’s own proper sequencing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying one just float through life and not do NOTHING and expect everything to work perfectly. For example, not going to work and expecting life to just send you a paycheck. I’m simply saying accept and use the art of surrender to those things which one can not fully change.

Learn to become aware.

Learn to use your senses instead of your brain (thinking all the time).

Learn to be mindful and do one thing…fully.

When you practice the art of surrender, a funny thing happens…life becomes easier. Happiness begins to naturally rise within you. Positive things start to come your way in small packages. And most of all, you will begin to sense an air of lightness in living. Accepting and surrendering to reality becomes your path to personal transformation in making your ordinary life, extraordinary.

Here are 5 ways to use the Art of Surrender in your life:

1. Surrender in what you think happiness is: Many of us think that we must have the perfect mate, the perfect job, the perfect car, the perfect body, the perfect personality, etc. and THEN we will be happy. Every one of us has our own little dream of what we think will bring us lots of happiness, but what we find out is, yes many of these things do. But in the end, the happiness is fleeting. Learn to enjoy the happiness that these things do bring, but also learn to surrender to the fact that just like everything in life, things pass. Feelings can pass. We get happy, we get sad. Repeat. When you align your personal values to life, and not mere things…life will become a bit more brighter.
2. Surrender in your work: When you do what you love, work doesn’t become work. In fact, in many ways, you surrender to it, you flow with it, and things seem to work effortlessly. If you are in a job that is not fulfilling, and you simply are not in a position to get out of it at this time, simply learn to surrender to that reality. Don’t resist it. But if you want out of your work, remember that in life, things can always be changed to a certain degree. You can find other work that is more fulfilling. Do not limit yourself by fear.
   
3. Surrender in your relationships: The best relationships are the ones where you can be just as you are, flaws and all. You can surrender yourself, your feelings, your trust, to the other person. Of course, in every mate there are going to be so called flaws that will annoy you like crazy! But just remember to keep in mind those things that you DO cherish about that person, learn to surrender to the reality of that person and who they are and really ask yourself…does it really matter? Many times, the things that annoy you about other people, including your mate, is actually the very things that you don’t like about YOURSELF. The things that annoy you now about that person may be the things you miss when they are gone. Change your perspective and focus on what they really have to offer.
   
4. Surrender in goal achievement: Goals are healthy. In fact, having goals in life make life worth living. I personally have had spells in my life where I simply didn’t really have any goals and my life just seemed so dull and lacking purpose. Just blah. The key thing is to have goals that you want to achieve, but to learn that you can still be happy even if you do NOT achieve them. Usually the journey to achieving the goal is more fruitful and fulfilling than the actual achievement. Shine a light on your values, and line up your goals with those…it will make life easier and more fulfilling.
   
   
5. Surrender in your self image: This one is a biggie and many people suffer from it. I can hear the self-depreciating right now…”I am not smart enough, I am not good enough, I’m too fat, people think I’m weird…blah blah blah”. If you are human, you have something like this that is probably a constant voice in your mind. It’s like a little devil just waiting to pounce on your every weakness. But what would happen if you simply became OK with who you are? OK that you have gained a little weight. OK that you are not as smart as others. OK that you may not be the most social person at the part. When you surrender to the image you hold in your mind as “better” and learn that it is just that, a thought or image only…your life, paradoxically, becomes better. Stop the battle. You are unique, there is no one on this planet like you. That alone makes you original, worthy, and human just like everyone else.

Remember, take the past of least resistance when you face reality and what is. Surrender. Changing what is ultimate reality is a lose-lose situation. Why get in that war if you can’t win it? The way to win is to step out of the battle.

Life: You can’t stop the waves of the ocean, but you can learn to surf them.

Posted on June 21, 2009