9 Powerful Ways to Obliterate Your Fears
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21 Happy Comments
Make your fears go...BOOM.
Fear can debilitate us faster than just about anything else in life. It stops us from going after what we want and keeps us from growing and changing into the people we have the potential to become. It can hold us back emotionally, physically, and even financially.
While a certain amount of fear is healthy, an overabundance is not.
When you find yourself fearful of making a change or trying something new, there are steps you can take to overcome your trepidation and get started living the life you want to have.
There are many methods that can be used to obliterate your fears, and I’m going to take a look at several of the most powerful and fastest. Putting these ideas into action can truly make a difference in how you experience the world around you.
- Listen to the fear. As I already said, fear can be a healthy thing. It is what reminds us to look both ways before crossing the street or not to do something that will get us into trouble. In some cases, that little voice that is nagging you not to do something is completely right. Breaking through unfounded fears is important, but so is recognizing when your conscience is trying to guide you.
- Learn from the fear. If you have listened to the fear and determined that it is not completely rational, then take a moment to discover what you can learn from it. If your heart begins to pound when you think of applying for that new job, for example, look at the situation deeper to discover what it is that really causes you discomfort. Are you afraid you won’t be chosen? Are you afraid that you will be chosen? Perhaps you will discover that your fear is based in something small like finding the time to revamp your resume and cover letter. Once you’ve determined what is really causing the fear, you will be better able to solve the problem.
- Get logical. Oftentimes, our fears are caused by illogical thinking. Combat this by examining your situation for false logic. You can also use this method to think your problem through to the worst possible outcome. What is the worst thing that will happen to you if everything goes completely wrong? Will you be embarrassed? Will you put yourself in physical danger? Once you’ve done that, go back and look at how unlikely that outcome really is, and you may just find that you are a lot less worried than you were when your mind was simply racing with possibilities.
- Give yourself a minimum goal. Most of us can do just about anything for fifteen minutes. If you find that you are fearful of trying something new, tell yourself that you will only do it for a specified period of time. Once you’ve spent fifteen minutes working on a project or talking to someone, you will likely find that your anxiety level has dropped enough to be able to continue. If it doesn’t, you already have an “out,” as you haven’t committed to engaging in the activity for any longer.
- Ask for help. Humans live in complex societies for a reason: we can’t do everything on our own. When faced with a fearful situation, asking for a hand can be one of the most important things you can do to move forward. For many of us, it can be the hardest, too. What you will probably find is that others are not only better equipped to deal with certain situations, but they are also flattered that you chose to come to them for assistance. In addition to relying on someone else’s experience, you will have a built-in support system and someone else who is invested in seeing you succeed.
- Pretend you’re someone else (part one). If you don’t feel that you can ask someone else directly for help, try putting yourself in their shoes. Think of someone you really admire and how he or she would deal with the situation. Then do exactly that. It doesn’t matter if it takes you out of your comfort zone a bit, because you’re doing it as if you were the other person. As you get more and more practiced at interacting as the person you so admire, you will find that these behaviors come more easily and naturally to you.
- Pretend you’re someone else (part two). It is so easy for us to be self critical, and that can really get in the way when you’re trying something scary. On the other hand, we tend to give a lot more credit and leeway to others. If someone you loved was in the same situation, how would you go about supporting him or her? Would you belittle another person for being fearful, or would you offer suggestions and advice for how to move past the fear? Try offering yourself that same encouragement and care, and you will find that it is much easier to try new things, as well as to accept your own shortcomings.
- Do your research. Fear is almost always based in the unknown. In order to get past it, you may find that it is extremely helpful to have as much information as possible. With the advent of the Internet, it is possible to research nearly every subject imaginable. Look for blogs where others share their experiences with the same problem and how they overcame their fears. In addition to inspiring stories, you can also arm yourself with statistics and facts that can take the fear out of not knowing what to expect.
- Get professional treatment. While this may not be the fastest way to get past a particular situation, seeking the advice of a therapist can have incredible impact on breaking through irrational fears or phobias. There are a number of different treatment methods that can help you discover the root of your fears, as well as how to obliterate them permanently. Again, humans rely on one another in society, so why not consider working with someone who is specifically trained to help you set and reach your life goals?
Each of these suggestions constitutes a powerful method for obliterating your fears. Each of them does require a bit of discomfort on your part, which is unfortunately inevitable. Not facing your fear, however, means that you will continue to experience discomfort whenever you are faced with a difficult situation. Putting these ideas into action translates into an overall diminishing of the discomfort as you become more and more able to handle the things that once held you back. In the end, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” Marianne Williamson
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What works best for YOU when facing and defeating your fears?
Posted on September 16, 2009
Point seven is really important.
I think all fear comes down to feeling like you are not enough to handle something.
.-= Justin- AlittleBetter.net´s last blog ..13 Profound Statements Via Twitter =-.
Great points. Fears Are totally illogical and dumb. You can do anything you put your mind too. My motto is F’ Fears because im a human being with unlimited potential.
Nice post!
P.S It all about replacing your fears with how to control your mind.
.-= jonathanfigaro´s last blog ..Posiitve Thinking Is Destroying Your Life =-.
Justin – I agree with you on #7 as well. It’s SO much easier to be self-critical to ourselves vs. the way we are to others. Thanks for commenting!
Jonathan – Love your motto Jonathan! You are absolutely correct, we all have unlimited potential, but first we have to get past that self-critical and fearful mind.
.-= Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..9 Powerful Ways to Obliterate Your Fears =-.
What a great post! These are really great ideas for getting rid of your fears and I love the Williamson quote at the end. What an excellent way to sum it all up!
.-= positively present´s last blog ..how to diversify your life portfolio =-.
Fear has always been an admonition Dayne. Most people can’t unleash their true capacity because they are afraid to explore unknown grounds. I’m glad you have shared your strategies to take control of our fears. It takes time to master the true nature of fear; however, if one is determined he can conquer it.
Great post on an important subject. In my experience, release techniques work very well for letting go of fear and anxiety. Try beyond-karma release, the Sedona Method, or EFT…
.-= Kaushik´s last blog ..Days of Our Discontent — Finding Answers =-.
Wow! I love that qoute at the end!
We are indeed born with LOVE inside…all of us.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..How to Feel, Beautiful. =-.
Isn’t it funny (sad) how we (mainly guys) refuse to ask for help. Since realizing I don’t know everything, I have really loved asking professionals (aka people who know their s*** that are willing to do it for FREE for me) to help me out. I am more productive and happy. Funny isn’t it!?!?!?
Great Post Dayne
Dave
LifeExcursion
.-= David Damron´s last blog ..5 Reasons NOT to be Organized =-.
Yes, that is sad David. When us humans can get over our ego and simply reach out, people are always willing to help.
In fact, many times it makes them feel good to help…so everyone wins!
Cheers,
Dayne
Hi Dayne, great list!
For me, when I face fear what works best is trying to remember my end goal, that usually gives me some force to go against fear. Stumbled!
.-= Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..How to Take the Red Pill in Your Life =-.
For me, fighting fear is the same as getting to Carnegie Hall – it takes practice, practice, practice. Eleanor Roosevelt advised “every day, do something that scares you.” It’s a great way to build your courage muscles, so that when that great opportunity comes up, you’ll be ready for it and not overcome by fear.
Great post Dayne!
.-= Barb McMahon´s last blog ..Celebrating the Inevitable Passage of Time =-.
Absolutely Barb, practice is key for sure! And that Roosevelt quote is perfect. I should have added that quote to the blog post!
Thanks for commenting!
Dayne
Fear is one of those things that had kept me from focusing on my goals. Often the thought that created the fear would just crop up and leave me feeling paralized, emotionally and I would no longer be able to function.
It’s hard to stay focused on our goals when random thoughts and images pop in and out of our minds causing unproductive and, at times, dangerous distraction. Beyond that, it’s almost impossible to fall asleep when our thought take over at night. It’s as if we have no control of our thought processes and as a captive audience to the misery they provoke we become victims of our own minds. Surprisingly, I learned that it doesn’t have to be that way.
How then to stop fearful and painful thoughts from creeping into your head? I believe I have conquered a good deal of the problem when I realized that thoughts are an actions that you actually have control over. You can can choose to think about whatever it is that you wish to occupy your mind with. Unlike dreaming, where scenes pop in and out uncontrollably, thoughts though seemingly random, can be controlled with some practice. The most disturbing thoughts and images can be, if not prevented entirely, snuffed out almost as immediately as they occur.
A little trick I use, I call the bug, bubble, seed technique. What I have found is that any thought or image can be categorized into one of these three images.
First, the bug category I use for any thought that makes me cringe. It can be of a person, an event, or activity that I absolutely cannot bear to think about, deal with, or lose sleep over. These awful thought provoking images, I see as big ugly bugs to be exterminated. This enables my ability to dismiss the thought immediately, and is the easiest of all unwelcome thoughts to rid oneself of.
Next, the bubble. I use this for any scenario that might create a state of sadness, or reflecting on it might cause the shifting away from the present. Any thought that fits into this category has the power to impair our ability to function or think clearly. The bubble may hold precious moments and even memories of loved ones, but can still cause an adverse effect if it floats into our minds at inappropriate times. To deal with the bubble, I acknowledge it’s presence as it drifts into my mind, allowing it to float away to return at a time of my own choosing.
Lastly, the seed. A positive thought that energizes, motivates and enable creative thinking. The seed also allows us to go outside of ourselves and reach out to others. Depending upon the moment that you’re in, the seed can be stored for planting at a future time, or immediately cultivated when the moment is right. The seed often represents a welcomed image that can reverse a creative block or be the resolution to a long standing problem.
Using these three categories for dealing with random thoughts, Has allowed me to be totally in control, stay focused on the task at hand, and experience inner peace or meditative relaxation.
Wow, BB, that is quite a comment and THANK YOU for sharing your method. That seems very very interesting and I know not only will I benefit from your information, but so will others that read here. Thank you so much for taking time to share so much!
Thanks again,
Dayne
Dayne, that’s an excellent post, offering practical advice rather than woolly theory.
I would add that fear (in very small doses) can also be a useful indicator that you are edging out of your comfort zone.
This kind of fear manifests more like a mild anxiety – a thrill even. As long as it doesn’t then cascade into a debilitating dread, it can be an important sign that you are forging into new territory – the land of the ‘yet to be discovered’.
Just wanted to throw that into the mix.
What do you think, Dayne? Is there a positive side to fear beyond protecting us from danger?
Best, Robin
.-= Robin Dickinson´s last blog ..A spending tool that will save you millions =-.
Robin, I think you are spot on in the fact that fear is an indicator that we are edging out of our comfort zones. That is always a good thing. I think the problem is when people have fear that is out of proportion to the reality at hand…then it becomes a problem (like fear of going to the grocery store, etc.).
So yes, to answer your question, there is definitely a positive side to normal fear. The beauty of it, or the real gift, is when we walk right through our fears to the other side.
Thanks for commenting Robin!
Dayne
I’m expecting my first child in a few weeks, so this article is really great timing! Thank you!
I think point 8 is particularly good, I’ve found reading and learning about the whole process to be extremely helpful.
.-= Mel the Dietitian´s last blog ..Should There Be a Tax on Soft Drinks? =-.
Hey there Mel, thank you so much for commenting here. Yes, research is always a good thing. I wish you the very best with your first child!
Cheers to you,
Dayne
.-= Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..5 Meditation Techniques That Work Like a Charm =-.
Nice post. I learn something on totally different blogs everyday. It can at all times be stimulating to read content material from different writers and observe just a little something from their blog.
Thank you for all of the effort on this blog