7 Ways to Add Romance to Your Relationship

Flowers

Turning up with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for your partner may seem unoriginal or even suspicious behaviour however all evidence suggests that it actually works. Research has shown that men and women respond with genuinely positive emotions when given flowers and this lift in mood can for last up to three days later. Flowers, especially roses, are often represented as a symbol of romance and passion and with science backing you up there is no better way to inject romance into your relationship.

Spontaneity

Some of greatest love scenes have been based around impulsive and spontaneous actions to gain the attention of a deeply desired loved one.  Romeo appearing beneath Juliet’s balcony is perhaps the most notable spontaneous love scene in history and there is no reason why you can’t apply the same sense of adventure to your own relationship. Break out of the routine once in a while, bring home an unexpected surprise or take a risk and be honest with someone you would like to get to know. History has shown that spontaneous displays of affection can pay off.

Keep Kissing

The first kiss is most definitely an exciting, romantic moment. According to a recent article in the Scientific American by Chip Walter, kissing provides us with important evolutionary information. Walter says that, “Scent, tactile information and compatibility of kissing style may tap into underlying and unconscious mechanisms that enable people to make determinations about the degree to which they are genetically compatible”. Kissing is like collecting data to determine if the potential partner holds the appropriate genetic material to produce healthy offspring.

It is nice to know that the wisdom of evolution has guided you into your partnership and a lovely way to keep romance alive is to keep on kissing. And always remember that first kiss.

Date Night

If you are in a long term relationship or marriage then chances are there are a number of important things coming between you and your partner. Caring for children and work responsibility obviously may be priorities but don’t let everything take precedence over your relationship. Spending time together without interruptions increases intimacy and is a good way to keep romance alive.

Intimacy

Intimacy is often thought of as a sexual thing however it is actually about sharing yourself with your partner and is not purely physical.  In psychological terms, intimacy refers to feeling safe enough to share private thoughts, feelings and history with your partner and trusting them with this information. It must be a two way street, both individuals need to feel the same sense of safety and trust and reveal themselves equally. Even if revealing yourself is simply stating that you are not ready to talk about certain events, feelings or thoughts. For intimacy to develop it needs regular practice and transparency from both individuals.

Positive Focus

Sometimes after the honeymoon period of a relationship has passed the things that you liked about your partner become over shadowed by the things that irritate or disappoint you. Remember, there was a time when you were blissfully unaware of these issues or you may have even thought they were charming. A simple exercise is to make a list of the things that you like about your partner and then tell them. This may lead to a shift in dynamic that allows you both to re-connect on an intimate level.

Time Out

‘Never go to bed angry’ is a common relationship tip. However dealing with the demands of modern life makes this saying sound utterly impractical and impossible. To resolve disagreements, arguments or issues that have dredged up painful feelings or memories can take years of work. The thought of sorting it out before bedtime and still getting enough sleep to face the day is laughable.

However there is a practical way to apply the saying.  Arguments between couples can disrupt every aspect of life including work, relationships and physical health. They can also suck all the romance out of the relationship. If an argument or issue seems to be un-resolvable a physical or verbal time out can be healthy.

Posted on September 19, 2011